Dienne hastened through the forest on his way home from town. It was his twin daughters' birthdays tomorrow and he wanted to make it home before nightfall. It was their fifth birthday, and he had worked extra hard during the season to save money, so that, while buying meat to last them the winter, he had enough money to buy Pacia a candied treat and Donna an adorable doll.
However, fate was working against Dienne for a harsh storm blew up and the day became dark as night. He quickly become lost in the dense forest and was not sure which way to go. Worse, a pounding rain fell and drenched him in seconds. He stumbled through the forest lost and afraid. He would not last long drenched to the bone in a cold autumn storm. But fate suddenly shone a brief light for Dienne rounded a hill and saw a cave opening with light coming from inside.
He called in, but when no answer replied quickly stumbled in to the warm cave hoping to weather out the storm that looked like it might last days. However, on taking in his surrounding he was amazed. The light seemed to shine from the very walls, and the cave was decorated with staired platforms and tall pillars and several old men sat silently in the background oblivious to the intruder. Dienne realized he had stumbled upon the legendary dwelling of the Magi.
The Magi are people who have dedicated their lives to solving the mysteries of the universe. They spend their time in solitude contemplating great puzzles, but are quite powerful. It is legend that a visitor may, for a price, get them to grant some great feat, but the visitor should chose wisely, for each Magi will only perform one feat for any one person... ever.
Thinking that he may not be in as bad a situation as he thought, he walked up to the closest old man, who sat, eyes closed, in a great stone throne.
"Excuse me, sir?", Dienne called.
The Magi's eyes darted open and stared angrily at Dienne, "What do you want? Why are you disturbing me?"
Dienne tried to explain. "I was lost in the forest and forced in here by the storm. Could you possibly help me?"
"Of course I can help you.", the Magi retorted, "I can teleport anyone anywhere. What difference does being lost or driving storms mean to me?"
Dienne was overjoyed. "Then you can teleport me home!"
"For a price.", the Magi added. "I want something sweet. Sweet buns, fresh strawberries, ... a confection." he suggested.
Dienne's hopes fell. Sure, he could give the Magi the confection meant for Pacia, but she would be so dissapointed. Then he thought, "If you teleport me to someplace where I can get some sweets, I will get them for you, and then you can teleport me back, and I will give them to you."
"Oh sure," the man accused, "teleport you away, and I'll never see you again. Payment at time of service and service at time of payment. That's Magi rules."
Dienne decided to talk to the other Magi in the cave before giving up his daughter's present. He went to the next Magi who was sitting atop a huge pillar, several stories high. He called up to the Magi.
"Excuse me. I was lost in the storm. Can you help me get home?"
"Maybe.", the man called down and cackled, "It depends on what you have."
Dienne did not understand the answer at all. "I don't understand.", he called up.
"I can copy anything.", the Magi yelled, "Look!" He pointed to a rock outcropping on the side of the cave, and suddenly, there were two rock outcroppings, exactly the same. "Amazing isn't it?", the old man yelled, and cackled again, "They said I would never be able to do it. They said I was mad! I showed them who was mad!", and he broke into hysterical laughter. Dienne was having second thoughts, but the man continued, "I can copy anything you want. I can even copy you. Do you want two of you?"
"I don't think so.", Dienne replied, horrified at the idea, but had a thought. If he copied his confection he could give one to the other magi and get home, and the other to Pacia. "Can you copy this treat?"
"Easily." the Magi replied, "For a price. Do you have any money?"
Dienne felt his bare pockets and pulled out only two copper coins. They wouldn't buy a pail with a hole in it. "All I have is two coppers."
"Coppers!", the man seemed excited. "That's great. I can make a whole pile of coppers. A whole mountain! I'll be rich!" More maniacal laughter. "Quick give them to me."
At this point Dienne was confused. The man was at least two stories up. "How am I supposed to get up?", Dienne asked.
The Magi looked around a bit and curtly replied, "No coppers, no copying."
Dienne's heart fell again. No longer brimming with hope he went to the third Magi who sat on a simple stool, but was surrounded by tall, vibrant flowers. The man sucked on the leaf of an artichoke.
"Can you help me get home?", Dienne asked, "The storm forced me in here."
The old man furrowed his brow for a second and thought. "I don't know.", he admitted, but then brightened, "Would you be better off if you had a large palm leaf to protect you from the rain?"
Dienne glanced out of the cave into the storm and could almost feel the dread chill that had set on the forest, and he was already soaked. "I don't think so.", he admitted.
The man answered, "I have the power to grow any living plant.", and the array of flowers growing out of the hard dirt and rock floor were testimony to this, "but I don't know if you have any need of this service."
Dienne thought, and had an idea. "Could you make a vine grow all the way up the column, strong enough for me to climb up it?"
"Sure.", the Magi assured him, "For a price."
Dienne was afraid about this part, but asked, "What price?"
The man focused his attention on the large smoked leg of lamb slung over Dienne's back. "Meat!", he moaned, and began to drool, "So many years of any fruit or vegetable I wanted, when all I wanted was meat.... slowly smoked over burning coals. I don't suppose you have any honey glaze?"
Dienne was once again distraught. His family needed that meat to make it through the winter. They had no goats or pigs or chickens at home. He couldn't possibly return home without it. "I might be able to share a little meat.", Dienne replied.
The man looked shocked at this and answered angrily, "The whole leg! Or no plant. And that means the bone, too.", and his chops began to chew at air imagining gnawing on the gristle.
Dienne was about ready to walk back out to his death in the storm than continue his torture, but he gathered his courage and went to the fourth and final Magi in the cave. This Magi sat on a high stage, but luckily a wide stairway lead up to it. Dienne called up.
"Excuse me, Magi. I was lost and forced in by the storm. Can you help me get home."
"You poor soul.", the Magi replied, "I don't know if I can be much help. I can create any living animal. But I don't know how that can help you."
"Wow.", Dienne breathed, "I could have my own elephant?", he asked in surprise.
"Yes...", the man answered, "and no. You could have an elephant, but he wouldn't be tame or anything. He would probably be a little more trouble than he was worth. That's if he didn't immediately trample you."
"Oh.", Dienne replied, "but I could have a goat."
"Yes.", the Magi answered, "I could make a goat for you."
If Dienne got a goat he could give away the meat without worry. He started to walk up the stairs when he heard a low growl. He looked to see a dog lying by the side of the stairs. He got the idea that if he took one step on the stairs he would be fighting off a vicious beast.
"Oh," the man called from above, "that's my guard dog. He'll try to rip apart anyone but me who tries to use the stairs."
Dienne sized up the beast. He looked very fierce and very fast. Dienne doubted if, even armed with a club or knife, he could take the beast, and he wasn't sure how happy the Magi would be anyway with clubbing his dog. The he thought about the walking stick he carried.
"Does he like to chase sticks?"
"No.", the Magi admitted, "but if you have something he can gnaw on that would occupy him."
Dienne was once again trapped. He was planning on giving his meat to the plant Magi. He couldn't give it to the dog. He stared at the gifts for his daughters wondering if either of them would interest the dog.
"Oh sure," the last Magi called, "He would love a chew toy or a treat, but they wouldn't last long. He would be through one of them in seconds and then wouldn't let you down. You'd then have to use the other to get back down. The meat is the only thing that would keep him busy long enough to get up, get an animal, and get back down."
Dienne thought desparately for other options.
"Sir.", he asked, "If he lets you pass, could you just come down here."
"I'm sorry.", the old man replied, and truly sounded mortified, "but I can't. It's against Magi rules. You have to get to me by your own volition, with no help from me."
Dienne again considered giving up the doll and confection, but was cautious.
"And if I do get up there, is there a price for your service?"
Again the man replied in a very contrite tone. "There must be. Magi rules again. However, it can be a token fee. Anything you could spare."
Dienne thought about what he had, and the only thing he had that hadn't been asked for yet was his walking stick.
"Would this do?", he asked, and held up the walking stick.
"Yes. Yes.", the man assured him, "That would be fine."
Dienne sat down and thought hard about how to get home with meat for his family, a confection and a doll for his daughters, and still in time for their birthday tomorrow morning. How can he do it?
This is a riddle that I came up with and hope to, one day, have an interactive interface through forms or Java, but at the moment regular email will have to do. Since I actually wrote the riddle, any answers, questions, or comments are totally welcome to rja@cen.com.